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What would your current day self say to the younger version of you about money?

What would your current day self say to the younger version of you about money?

by | Apr 9, 2020 | My Life

What would your current day self say to the younger version of you about money?

A large percentage of people do not have an emergency fund that covers 3 mths and many live pay cheque to pay cheque.

  • US statistics say 53% do not have emergency funds beyond 3 months and 49% live pay check to pay check, and that study was prior to COVID.

Pay cuts, losing jobs, closing businesses – the heart ache is real here in Australia & New Zealand.

I’ve re written this article many times fearful of rejection.  What can I contribute that would be of value to others, I am certainly no financial advisor.  I’m ‘a-typical’ of my peer group in that I have had my ups and downs financially and Im holding out ok .. but no shining star award to qualify for a voice relating to money.   But I kept waking up feeling my next blog needed to be about money and helping drive people to be curious to create options .. my superpower is helping to inspire people to be curious, to develop options and then put tangible actionable steps in place based on their story or circumstance – so here goes.

This blog is my current self talking to a younger version of me about money

Ferne, treat money as you would a best friend.  Keep them close, honour them, don’t discredit them behind their back, envisage and dream what choices you could make in life by having them more abundant day to day in your life. Do not put them down, do not blame them for all the wows in your world.  Treat money as if a close loved and cared for friend.

In 2012 Ferne you will have a closet full of awesome shoes purchased from all over the world, you will have accessories galore – you will have a reputation of giving giving giving.  You will have consistently traveled the world for a number of years with your job.  A few New York suits and lots of accessories will be your packing items.  You would have spent a significant amount of money on a gorgeous new home, you would have spent a significant amount of money on IVF treatments over 8 years.  You would have treated yourself and others to frequent overseas trips creating memories, you would have cared for family and taken loved ones into your home, you would be an exceptional carer for those treasured god children.  You would have dabbled in importing and selling furniture items but in truth kept half of them ‘cause you loved them’.  You would have a salary package that will be beyond what you had ever dreamed of – you would also be a workaholic.  You have spent the last handful of years working with an exceptional bunch of people leading a top tier global company.  There were so many lessons, so many quality people, you participated in the success, contributed to the success and were valued for the person that you are.

But a message to my younger self, in 2013 the dream you did not think would occur does, you give birth to a beautiful daughter, you will be 49 years of age .. but you will also be made redundant in the same year.  You will make a decision when you were fearful to sell your beautiful home (at a loss), you will loose confidence in your power of making good decisions because of fear.  It will take you a few years – 5 years in fact –  to rebuild that power and intention … but have confidence you will do it, you (we) are resilient and we do not stay down.  There will be another crises that occurs in 2020, but you would have put plans in place to ride that through.  There will be more crises that occur in the world, and likely more frequent … keep listening to your voice and treat money as a friend.

I’ve put some words together for you Ferne to help keep you focused with intentional actions relating to money; always be curious, always create options, never stop taking actions. 

Ferne, When you go to buy something, figure out quickly if it is a need or a want.  If it is a want, put that money aside into an emergency fund until you have at least 8 to 12 months of emergency funds available.   A crises will occur in 2020 and you will be afforded some relief through subsidies .. put as much of this aside as you can into emergency funds, don’t spend it on wants.  You will have a salary decrease, when you’re salary increases again .. put that same amount, or as much as you can into your emergency fund.

Write this down and put inside your wallet :

100$ a month put aside into an emergency fund from the age of 25, earning over its life 12% return will give you 1M at 65 years of age.

100$ a month in the same scenario but from 35 will provide you 300K. You have just cost yourself 700K as you may choose wants over needs.

 Be strong in working on your fears, challenges and blockages to be the best YOU in this life.  Learn to listen consistently to your own voice, what is the story you want to be told at your Eulogy or researched on google when you are no longer here.  What actions are you taking from today forward to make that a reality – particularly relating to money and the life of passion and intent you wish to lead.

Choose a few people who will inspire you relating to the money sector of your life.  Listen, observe, learn, change learned behaviours from your childhood about money.  Conduct exercises that break down those blockages ‘money does not grow on trees’, ‘you’ve worked hard today – go treat yourself, you deserve it’.  Choose one or two financial super heros – LEARN! 

Just because money is coming in and going out does not mean you are ok if you do not have 8 to 12 months emergency funds.  It just means you are surviving, confront yourself on choices you make and the why you make them.  Stand in your truth ; look yourself in the mirror and be truthful about the choices you made that got you here.  THEN let the past go and focus on your next chapter.

Ferne, the main obstacle to wealth is fear.  You will become a leader in transformation change and help people every day with putting plans in place to mitigate fear in businesses and achieve their tomorrow.   Apply that same method, that same logic and action these steps NOW:

Find the answer to these questions: What is your fear in relation to money?  Why don’t you get pleasure out of saving money .. why do you get more pleasure out of spending money ….  And if you do get pleasure out of saving money, what is that driver you can leverage.  Unless you know the answer to these question you cannot create actionable intentional action to alter.  Find the answers then;

Put a crises management plan in place! What mitigations do you put into place to mitigate this fear from being realised.  If the fear is realised and becomes a real live issue, what are the actionable steps you agree with yourself PRIOR to the fear / issue occurring that you will immediately put into place to deal with that.  Write it down, sign it, then file it.  Making a plan about actions to take if the fear is realised when you are confident – when you are in hour power is key.  We do not make good decisions for ourselves when we are in the powerless or fear character.

Ensure your back yard is in order, that you have a Will you revisit every 5 years, that you have a power of attorney for medical and financial decisions, you have a medical emergency plan written and understood by your nominated authorised person, if you have minors you nominate your wish for them .. or nominate a few you trust to have a conversation and make that determination.  DO THIS IMMEDIATELY to mitigate the increased risk of something occurring to you as we face some global disruptions in years to come.

Then turn your focus to mitigations for the fear not to be realised, turn up your curiosity, map out some options, create actionable – tangible steps. Spend more time thinking of options and actions and TAKING those actions than you think about your fear.

Ferne, do not dwell on shame relating to money topics or choices that have been made in the past.  Stand in the truth, why are you in the position you are in now .  You have been brought up in your early life of hearing “we deserve to be treated, we deserve that holiday, we deserve to have that new phone, we wish to provide for others what we did not have .. we put things before money, YOU are responsible to alter that thinking to money before things” 

Create a strong value system relating to money Ferne.  I know you believe in being valued for who you are over what you have, but make sure you take actions based on these values.    

The past is the past .. it is only valuable if you learn from it . Right here, right now is what matters. Visualise when money comes in you will put money into an emergency fund , there will be another crises, don’t know when or what, but there will be more over your life.  

Think about the life that is possible if you treat money as a friend. 

Be grateful that you have a wonderful mind and thought process that enables you to think of various ways or channels to create multiple streams of income from things you are passionate about.  Those memories you create with people from experiences you enable.. don’t ever stop doing that, but do it AFTER you have your emergency funds tucked away. 

Live below your means but within your needs.  Take these actions at least until you have 8 to 12 months emergency funds available.  Every time you go to buy something ask if this is a want or a need.  If it is a want .. walk away and put that money into your emergency fund

Do not complicate definition of a need .. a need is food, medicine, travel to work or job interviews, minimal clothing for your needs . A want is food at a restaurant, travel to visit friends, a fourth pair of shoes, the next version of i-phone

And Ferne, this one is a hard one for me to talk to as I know your future and you do not as yet.  My word of advice when it comes to romantic relationships and money.

Communication with your partner relating to money is critical especially when you come from different backgrounds, different experiences with money, different messages, different fears and blockages.  If you have a partner and you have one vision and treat money with the same value you have a formula for success.  If you do not your formula needs to be adjusted – amended or there will be challenges and the saying ” to death us to part, quickly alters to, to debt do we part’. If you have one vision and your partner has another vision you will be in  different vehicles, and that is ok until you hit a bumpy road or a crises and the vehicles end up going in different directions.

Get into the same vehicle with any future partner you have!  Know about financial behaviour before you get deeply involved, and be prepared to address head on any disconnect to make it work – BEFORE a crises occurs.  It is like a business continuity plan .. create a crises plan before a crises occurs.

In wrapping up Ferne, I ask you to please reflect on these statements

  • Get as much pleasure saving as you do spending
  • An emergency fund is a non negotiable, at least 8 to 12 months
  • Power attracts opportunity and money
  • Powerless repels opportunity and money
  • You are in the drivers seat of your life, what gear are you in, what road are you taking on your journey to success relating to money, who are in the passenger seats
  • Address your fears and challenges, get answers – turn up curiosity=options, then create actionable steps- and TAKE THEM
  • Communicate and get in the same vehicle, relative to money, with any future partner
  • Ensure your own back yard is in order relating to what occurs to money if you are compromised, and the less you have the more important this is
  • Be more to have more 
  • To be more you need to know more about how you deal to money

Ferne, in your mid 50s you will …. 

  • Be surrounded by friends who are outcome, action orientated inspiring people relating to financial independence, keep surrounding yourself with people who DO.
  • Have sourced an excellent advisor and accountant who also has a great bookkeeper to take the mundane out of your world and free you up to write blogs!
  • Listen to a lady called Suze Orman who gives away more than she asks and story tells in a way that resonates with you. You will listen to her podcasts and FREE 12 hours of advice downloadable program which helps you in our next chapter.
  • Through your on line transformation work a financial advisor finds you who is a wonderful centred soul and is passionate about helping families realise their dreams of tomorrow Joseph Panthradil, Financial Adviser & Loans Specialist.

Ferne, I am going to sign off now as I cannot pass on too many secrets of your (our) future that is now.  But in the hopes of inspiring you, we do love Saturday mornings with our daughter, it is a special time of the week we both love, our mother who is 84 lives on our beautiful property in a tiny house on wheels, the build and design we did for her has over 1.6M views on Living Big in a Tiny House you tube channel – WHO WOULD KNOW !  We had a cancer scare last year, but all is fine we rejigged our food and water and home environment getting rid off chemicals, mum did too!  Numerology says that we are entering a new phase of life at 55 and it feels so real, the moon has been brilliant this week and we have been out walking in the night dreaming of our tomorrow. 

We are happy, healthy and we have an emergency fund.

Ferne Eliz King

Love Life  Love YOUR Life

About Ferne

Ferne is globally recognised and called upon for quickly accelerating complex change to achieve business strategies.  Translating strategies to actionable plans, prioritisation of those actions, engagement from the right people, bringing business architecture to life or your life plan if individual and in many cases driving the change as a program director.  The bottom line is Ferne accelerates businesses or individuals to achieve outcomes and enabling that is her passion.

What's the consequence if you take no action?

“If you do the same thing today as yesterday, your tomorrow will be the same as today”.  Ferne Eliz King

Book a Call

Want To Learn More?

Book a free 15 min call and see how Ferne can help you accelerate your aspirations for you or your business.

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5a.m. the hour when legends are either getting up or going to bed

5a.m. the hour when legends are either getting up or going to bed

by | Apr 2, 2020 | My Life, My Work

5a.m. the hour when legends are either getting up or going to bed

He swears we will feel more energized and productive. He tells us that Mozart, Frank Lloyd Wright, and Ernest Hemingway made a habit of rising early.

He promises that if we wake up at 5 every morning and follow his 20/20/20 formula for what he calls a “Victory hour,” our life will change. Our creativity and or productivity is going to soar, our fitness will improve, and we will just generally feel better about ourselves.

But.. Can we do it? What is the reward? Will it stick or be a one week wonder?

Sharma, the famous Canadian personal success guru and author of many best-selling books including 1997’s The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari. Wrote The 5am Club.  Told in parable form, the story features four central characters: The Spellbinder, The Homeless Man/Billionaire, The Artist, and The Entrepreneur. Through the course of the book, the Artist and the Entrepreneur go through a complete life change due to the teachings of The Spellbinder and Billionaire characters. The main point of their lessons is, that the two should get up at 5 a.m. and structure their days according to Sharma’s formulas.

When the clock strikes 5am we are to begin our days with the 20/20/20 formula that is to change our lives.

Robin Sharma is the son of Indian and Kenyan immigrants to Canada. He says he came from humble beginnings, and the immigrant mindset that drives so many high-achievers took root in him from an early age. He graduated from law school and became a successful lawyer at a big firm in Toronto.

“But when I would wake up in the morning and look in the mirror, I didn’t like the person that was looking back at me,” says Sharma. “I was very empty. There was an angst.”

He turned to education, this time studying the lives of the great women and men of the world, looking to understand their tactics and methods to implement those practices in his life. Out of this transformation came his first book, 1994’s Megaliving.

Despite some difficulties as a first-time author, Sharma was able to sell enough copies of the book to begin his career as a speaker, author, and personal success guru. Out of that moderate success, Sharma started to dream bigger. His second book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, caught fire and launched Sharma into global fame.

Suddenly, Sharma was a man in his early 30s speaking to audiences of thousands all over the world. His morning routine and his disciplined life that had been shaped in his 20s were vital to helping him avoid the pitfalls that so many people experience when fame and success come their way.

What will you do today to ensure your tomorrow is different than your yesterday?

So, do we just get up at 5am and get the housework done before the whole house awakes? Do we get on the computer and get on top of emails and our to do list for the day then sit with our cup of tea trying to figure out where to start?  Go to the fridge to eat something while I think about it (or that bottle of vodka!  If I’m feeling overwhelmed).  Is that how we get ahead and stay ahead?

Nope … that is NOT the answer.

Sharma lays out a detailed routine in the book and claims it’s what has helped billionaires, superstar athletes, and others with whom he’s worked through the years.

Action Plan Here’s how the 20/20/20 formula is broken down:

The first 20 minutes of your day are for sweaty exercise. Sharma’s “Billionaire” character gets deep into the science of why sweating and getting your heart rate up early in the morning are so good for you. In summary, you’ll increase your feel-good dopamine and serotonin levels and kickstart your metabolism while lowering your levels of cortisol, essentially a stress hormone.  For me, Ferne Eliz King I get into my infra-red sauna I have in my bathroom (I will post the benefits of infra-red saunas on another day) and mix it up between this and taking the dogs for a brisk walk.

The next 20 minutes should be quieter, dedicated to journaling, meditating, planning, reflecting and contemplating. This should get your mind, heart and soul in the right place for a day that promises to throw all kinds of difficulty and stress your way. Taking this time to be quiet and still will increase your gratitude and your happiness.  For me, Ferne Eliz King I use an application for mediation called Synctuition.  20 mins is equivalent to 2 hours ‘old school’ meditation.   I also have beautiful journals / books to write thoughts down.   I have one for inspirational ideas, goals, plans.  I have one for my feelings / thoughts and what I am grateful for and the reasons why. In my ideas, goals and plan book I also write down the emotion I will feel when those things come to fruition, what I will feel, whom I will tell, what emotion they will have.  I put myself into that future moment in time.

While the exercise piece is a pretty specific and, in Sharma’s terms, “non-negotiable,” piece of the 5 a.m. puzzle, the reflection portion allows more creativity for you to do what is most comfortable for you. But one part that Sharma insists should be included in your second 20 minutes is journaling. Writing down your goals, plans, commitments, and the things you are grateful for will shape your day more positively.

The final 20 minutes allow for even more customisation. The “Grow” period is left for you to learn whatever it is you feel like learning.  So, if you want to listen to a podcast about successful entrepreneurs, or read a great book, or work on a language you want to learn, all of that is in play in these 20 minutes. The goal is to stimulate your brain and improve your intellectual capabilities.  For me, Ferne Eliz King on the last Sunday of each month I spend a bit of time making a list of things I wish to read, listen or view in the next month and I reward myself when I have achieved my list.  I purchased some really good Bose earphones so I can listen to material while I am going about my day – not wasting a minute.

How consistent can one be?

Have you done that analysis that advises what character you are as to what times of day it suits best for you to work / sleep… it’s very cool..

For every Hemingway the book uses as an example of an early riser, there is of course a Winston Churchill, one of the most prolific writers and human beings ever, who would write until 2 or 3 a.m. and stay in bed until the late morning. Surely there are those who are built for the 5 a.m. club, and there are those who are more suited for the night club.

For me, Ferne Eliz King, I used to be a night owl, I would stay up to the wee hours of the morning working on spreadsheets, client reports, analysis, leadership – sleep for 3 to 5 hours and then do it all over again.  OR I would be out partying and networking until the wee hours climbing into bed at 5am.  Every 6th to 8th day I would have a good long sleep.  THOSE DAYS ARE GONE. 

I now have a 6 year old ad I’m in mid 50’s!!!  I have my 84 year old mum living with us, independently in our back yard, but still an extended household.  I’m going through a separation from a 15 year relationship.  I don’t function the way I used to.  

I need a refreshed way to approach my day!  And the added stress and strain of this current Coronavirus outbreak .. mmmm .. let’s not digress to another topic.

Robin Sharma himself says..

“I slip all the time. I think most people do. Each day is simply about fighting the disruptive currents and getting back on track.”

So, what does this look like in my house?  I use the old way of waking myself up.  My dad told me many moons ago (an outdoor man and never traveled with an alarm clock – something extra and useless to carry he would say).  Bang your head on the pillow for the time of day you wish to wake up.  I have used it when I cannot rely on my phone and it works.. So, whether you head bang or use an alarm clock, I will leave to you.

For me, I wake often with my 6 year old entwined over, on, under, around me.  It takes me a few minutes to untangle myself.  I love that little arm across my neck!

I sneak out of the bedroom, I turn on the infrared sauna (I’m still trying to figure out the timer!!) – or I put on my runners and grab the dogs and go out into the dark morning.  They are excited to get the first fresh smells of the day and chase the kangaroos and every now and then chase the sound of the deer that come to eat our grass.

After the sauna or workout / walk.  I get my special magic water (I drink Kangen water) and set myself up in my special beautiful space in my ‘ladies lounge’.  I meditate, journal and reflect.  I often extend this to 40 minutes if I have not meditated the night before.  I try and have the habit of meditating before I go to sleep – I find I have a better quality and quantity of sleep when I do this.

I then spend the final 20 minutes of my learning time multi tasking.  I will either read, sitting in my space.  Or listen or view something online.  If it is the latter, I will quite often do this while multi tasking doing something else as well.   A definite focus on LEARNING and EXPANDING my knowledge or thinking.  I have my special LEARNING journal that I carry around with me during this step.

Ferne Eliz King journals:

  • inspiration, goals, actions, new ideas, strengthening current ideas
  • feeling, thoughts, gratitude
  • learning, expanding my knowledge

It’s now 6am or 6.20am …

Now it’s shower, personal care and looking myself in the mirror and liking who is looking back at me. I feel inspired, energised and clear to start my day ahead.

My productivity in my day has expanded.  I have wobbly days for sure, but they don’t last long, I’m able to kick myself back into gear quite easily without a lot of effort.

And to tell you the truth, there are a few mornings a week I start this routine at 4am or 4.30am depending on my evening prior.  I try to be in bed by 9pm, meditate and asleep by 10pm at latest.  Some nights I am in bed at 8.30pm.

I try to plan my meals a week in advance, I try to cook and prepare on a weekend so that I am not at 3pm starting to stress about the evening meal.  I’m fortunate in that my ‘ex’ partner cooks much of the time during the week.  With the current situation we still share the same property and the care of our daughter and treat each other kindly which is GREAT. I’m grateful for that.

One of the impacts I found is not checking my phone or computer until AFTER I have got myself ready for the day.  Prior to this I would often be still sitting in my PJ’s at midday as I had got ‘caught’ in the virtual working environment and getting into my work before I was personally ready to do so.

There are days when I am not consistent at this routine.  There has been a few days where I wake up and go.. ‘oh this is too wonderful to get out of’ (the little arms wrapped around me and the comfort of my bed).  I do a quick equation of the impact of staying in bed and then make a decision.  If I decide to stay in bed, I do not beat myself up.  But I only allow that to occur once or twice a week.

Robin Sharma advised a journalist. “I slip all the time. I think most people do,” says Sharma. “One time the pilot on a little plane let me fly a little bit, and as I was holding the yoke, I noticed the plane was constantly being pushed off course by the winds. My goal was to make sure that we stayed on course. That’s what happens every single day to every single one of us. There are temptations and distractions that get us off our habits and our priorities. Each day is simply about fighting the disruptive currents and getting back on track.”

Knowing that many entrepreneurs slip, makes it easier to put boundaries and limits to not ‘being perfect’ at this plan. 

I do feel the difference, I feel I can manage my day and week in a better way than I did before.  I feel the difference which is all I needed as evidence of the benefit to continue with striving for a 5am start to my day.

What will you do to ensure you tomorrow is not the same as yesterday? Will you start that thing today?

Ferne Eliz King

Love Life Love YOUR Life

This article was inspired from an article in Success Magazine talking about the 5am Club.

About Ferne

Ferne is globally recognised and called upon for quickly accelerating complex change to achieve business strategies.  Translating strategies to actionable plans, prioritisation of those actions, engagement from the right people, bringing business architecture to life or your life plan if individual and in many cases driving the change as a program director.  The bottom line is Ferne accelerates businesses or individuals to achieve outcomes and enabling that is her passion.

What's the consequence if you take no action?

“If you do the same thing today as yesterday, your tomorrow will be the same as today”.  Ferne Eliz King

Book a Call

Want To Learn More?

Book a free 15 min call and see how Ferne can help you accelerate your aspirations for you or your business.

Book a Call

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A clean and a green home – why wouldn’t you?

A clean and a green home – why wouldn’t you?

by | Mar 30, 2020 | My Life

Taking Your Power Back!

So many large environmental impacts have been slowed down and or stopped around the world.  We have been forced to rethink the way we work, the way we go about our day.

We can see the positive impact on our environment.  BUT at some stage we will start back up again.  What habits would we have changed in OUR HOMES to improve and SUSTAIN a cleaner and healthier home?  Do not use the excuse you do not have time.  You HAVE to have the time and you cannot afford to not take action.

The consequences are too severe for the environment, for you as an individual and your family.    The action is simple .. one simple action can solve for your health, paying forward and having a clean green home .. easy !!  Let’s have a chat.

This is a perfect time to change habits in our homes, to achieve a cleaner, greener refuge.  Many, like me, have used the old excuse of “I don’t have time”, I don’t have time to research what’s best, I don’t have time to learn, I don’t have time to apply – I just don’t have time.

Well the truth is now most of us are at home 100%, no travel time, no excuses AND IT’S TIME!

We should want to do what we can to have a greener home for our health and the health of our planet.  I’m no ‘greeny’ – but I did not actually realise how easy one simple action could impact me, my family and the environment so positively – while giving me a medical grade disinfectant for my home.

My mum who is 84 lives in a tiny house on our property.  She is the old school cleaner of white vinegar and newspaper with a good mix of Jif, White King and numerous sprays.  Her cleaning cupboard used to be a source of anything and everything for all occasions!

That’s all changed – for both of us.  We now use water to clean and disinfect .. yep – water!  Our grocery bill has SIGNIFICANTLY reduced!! .. and importantly we feel better about what we are doing in our own homes to sustain our environment.

We use a machine to alter the pH of our tap water.  For cleaning we use 11.5 pH and disinfectant we use 2.5pH.

You cannot afford to not take action – now more than ever we have to reeducate ourselves on HEALTH and a CLEAN AND GREEN home.

I won’t cover it all here .. but a few things.

 

Use of 11.5 pH water :  (yes, again .. WATER ) ..

Good nights sleep, dash just before bedtime releases Melatonin, along with thinking good positive thoughts and what puts a smile on your face will ensure a good night sleep … and there is more ..

The water can be used for make up removal, puffy eyes, hot bath soak, nasal wash for allergies, cold symptoms, snoring, bug spray repellent, bug bites, sunburn, food poisoning, stomach flu, arthritis, gout, muscle soreness or tissue injury, HANGOVERS and migranes, chemotherapy, cleaning pesticides from fruit and vegetables, cleaing and tenderising meat, laundry soap – especially for those that work in smelly environments, stains on clothes,  rugs, carpets, oven cleaner, dishwasher and polishing silver.  

Use of 2.5 pH water:  (yes, again ..WATER )

Kills all microbes – rinse fruit and vegetables! USE FOR DISINFECTING ANYTHING – put in a spray bottle and carry in your handbag !

2.5pH can also be used for… antibacterial soap, facial lifting and tightening, brush and gargle – awesome preventative!, stops vomiting, kills bacteria in open wounds, treat nail fungus, poison ivy, pink eye, fever blisters, cancer sores, moles and warts. For infected sinuses – spray with 2.5pH – rinse with 11.5 pH.

_____________________________________________

Simply amazing .. I have been using consistently in my home for the last few months and am amazed !!  I am ashamed to say I used 9.5pH healthy drinking water for hydration benefits long before I took the cleaning settings seriously.

My mum has been using for the last few weeks and is absolutely astonished .. I will put a video and post in here of her in the next week or so.

You cannot afford to not take action – now more than ever we have to re-educate ourselves on HEALTH and a CLEAN AND GREEN home.

Action … give me a call (click here and book through my website) to have a chat or email to ask a question !

email : [email protected]

I normally post about transformation of individuals and businesses, you see I am a management consultant who specialises in delivering transformation change of businesses.

Like many I have a few investment interests to help boost my superannuation plans.

Passive income is one of those lines of activity, it does well – typically more than my super fund returns as a %!

With what is occurring around us at present I am profiling one of the medical grade products I direct sale and use in my and my mothers own homes with a driver being ‘paying forward’ and letting people know about this awesome experience and product.

I’m usually more subtle .. but we have been hit between the eyes with this virus .. and this one product is an AWESOME solution for improved health and a clean and green home.

Ferne Eliz King

Love Life Love YOUR Life

My Mum and I; resilience and health is everything!!

by | Mar 28, 2020 | My Life

My mums 84th birthday, cleaning and disenfectant WATER, gardening cloves up to her elbows (as the skin gets thinner as you get older)

Focusing on getting our comfort back.  Tomorrow will be different than yesterday and what are WE doing today to be comfortable with what tomorrow brings. This blog covers my mum who is 84, me at 55 and my 6 year old daughter.  My mum lives independently in a tiny house on wheels on our property..

We can do this!  We can get our comfort back.  I’ve noticed this week a greater level of comfort than last weeks inconvenience, disruption, fear and hope.  Everyone is still adjusting … This blogg is to tell our story and help to get our comfort back with a focus on health and our home.  As we move forward having a heightened focus on mindset, health and our immediate environment in our home.

Mindset and health are paramount, it is the foundation in moving forward.  If we don’t have either at a certain level anything that follows will be ‘wobbly’. If we are not solid on mindset and health it will hinder us in the future, it will slow us down, it will hinder our focus.

Resilience is something we have within ourselves; we all have it.  In fact Australian and New Zealand women and families are renowned for it across the world.   Recognise you have it, draw on it.  Recognising the resilience, we have built up over our lives will be critical over the coming months; take comfort in knowing that we have the resilience to support ourselves. Resilience is not something that we just start doing, it is something we have built up over time.  What resilience have you built up in your life?  What history of resilience have you got in your family, in your community?

Mum has HUGE resilience, her father passed away when she was still in nappies, her mum raising the kids on her own for many years, and my mothers mum took in a cousin as well to raise.  There was a family tragedy of an aunty taking her and her childrens lives through years of an abusive husband.  My mum had 9 pregnancies with 3 surviving children, she has been married 3 times, every marriage, bless her, was a happy one.  But here she is at 84 on her own, all three husbands have passed and are no longer living.  She is 1 of 4 siblings and her and her eldest sister who is 90 are the surviving sisters.  She fortunately has the joy that all three of her precious children are alive and healthy.  She has been in some successful business ventures and some terrible financial disasters.  She won a small amount of lotto once. I remember that phone call of excitement, it came just at the right time for her.  I also remember the phone call to advise my dear stepfather who was a wonderful man had terminal cancer, and mum had cancelled their private insurance cover the month prior to save money.  Mum has a massive resilience reserve to support her through the next few months.   In fact she comes from a long line of resilient women and families and passed that down to us.

My resilience bank draws on experiences with childhood challenges, drinking at a very young age (so many experiences where I should not have woken up the next day!), not valuing myself but at an early age recognising something related to Entrepreneur Mindset which of course I did not know what to label or call it at the time.  I got married, which did not last.  I’ve had a long term relationship which has recently broken down.  I have had a very successful professional career taking me around the world, I had turned myself into a workaholic and ‘high achiever’.  At a very young age I was told I could not have children which really shaped my 30’s to be a workaholic and the fun girl.  I recall quite clearly telling a guy I had been dating for a few months the news I could not have children (at what point do you tell someone?).  We were in a restaurant, he stood up and abused me for wasting his time. mmmmmm.. that was an experience.  So single I stayed – why would I re enter that world of the unknown?  Then, due to a breakthrough in fertility treatment, to be given options in my early 40’s of having children… too late I said, then on reflection I realised actually how much I would like to raise a child.  I have many many god children, probably because they thought I would not have my own ..ha ha.  Anyway 8 years and 15 rounds of IVF followed …. Which eventuated in my little girl being born!!  In my 49th year! 

Something I’ve realised with my recent relationship breaking down is I’ve never been alone without my dad or a man in my life.  I have certainly been single for most of my adult life, but my dad was there.  And he was the greatest support – always believing in all of his children.  I meet my current partner while dad was alive.  Now I’m standing here a bit wobbly as my dad is not there to say – it will all be ok Ferne, you’ve got this.  

My bottom line is at 55 years I thought I would be further along in my comfort zone than what I am.  I thought I would have retired, happily travelling the world with my little girl in tow visiting all my friends and creating experiences and memories and having a wonderful base to come back home to, with a solid bank account to never have to check the balance on a daily, weekly, monthly basis. That is not my current reality.   I have stopped looking at my superannuation balance in the last week !

So step it up I will … I have resilience, my mother has resilience we have a long history of resilience in our family, in our communities in the Southern Hemispher.  We do things every day to ensure our mindset is strong and focused.  I meditate each day, mum gardens every day – it helps form our foundation.  I am very fortunate that I have an Entrepreneur mindset.. It’s in my blood, in my bones.  I have passion and I’m retraining myself on how to take my knowledge + passion and influence others more broadly than I otherwise would have without social networks!!

What has occurred in your life to give you resilience?  Draw on it now and focus on your mindset.

So how does this help with our tomorrow?  The inconvenience, risk, fear and uncertainty that is occurring today in our lives in March 2020 all around the world.  We have to make sure this one event is not the event that brings you undone, it’s not THE thing that takes all your reserves of resilience and uses it up all at once.  Do not empty your resilience tank! 

“The outcome of a choice made in fear will always be more of the same”– Paul Selig.

Every single one of us is dealing with a collective event never experienced before by most of us in our lifetimes.  And let’s be honest…it is terrifying.

Draw on your resilience you have in your reserve bank.  We have, each and everyone of us, been dealt events that build resilience.

The four of us here at home have self-isolated with mum, my daughter myself and my partner.  Even though my relationship has broken down with my partner I’m very grateful we have come together and figured out ways to treat each other with respect and stay at our property to support as a family.  We will deal to ‘us’ at a future time, but now is not the time to figure out our individual futures.  It is a time to figure out how to support and demonstrate what family resilience is.   

So getting our comfort back.  Recognise tomorrow will not be the same as last week and that is OK. We just need to get comfortable what the new tomorrow is going to be. 

Suggested Actions

  1. Limit your time listening to news news news – chats with friends about doom and gloom, give yourself a time limit each day to be part of that ‘movement’
  2. Recognise you have resilience, reflect on times in your life that has built resilience in your resilience bank! Look at your history within your family, your community, your country.
  3. Reflect on what gives you joy, what tops up your mindset, what keeps you in a good mindset – do more of it!  Recognise the triggers that distracts you from a good mindset, put management plans in place that if this ‘trigger’ occurs what is your management plan to draw out of any downward spiral
  4. Back away from people who don’t share good energy with you.  You are in the driver’s seat of your life.  Don’t be a passenger in something so critical as your life.  
  5. Stand in front of that mirror in the morning and throughout the day and smile back, love the person you see, love the person you will be tomorrow.

Ferne Eliz King
Love Life Love YOUR Life