Finding balance Between Autonomy and Dependency

Workplace culture is fundamentally about cooperation and security. A negative workplace culture, where people don’t feel safe or have a sense of belonging is generally the cause of major resistance to strategic change. It is all too common for cultural change to be overhauled AFTER a major change initiative has failed. Learn the lesson, review your culture and the tools to inspire and engage as a precursor to change events saving precious time and resources in the process, plus realising the benefits of change earlier than later.

Addressing culture in the most practical and effective way should be a priority before you implement change.  Take the time to observe the culture, ask questions and communicate with those involved, note down the current culture, both positive and negative. Celebrate the positive cultural behaviours and use them to your advantage. Select a few critical negative behaviours, then with your employees work to improve them by agreeing on a set of values, the behaviours that will demonstrate these values.  There are lots of tools available and great advisors relating to cultural change and the time is ripe!!

When you are ready for strategic planning ask yourself the following

• 1. What will those involved in the change gain? (If the only answer is save or gain money for the organisation, try again with the other stakeholders in mind as this will undo all the work you have done building and strengthening the culture)
  2. What culture is needed to succeed?
  3. Is the current culture aligned with the direction the strategic change will take us? (If not, what needs to be changed or improved?)

Studies show that only 10% of patients that have received a heart bypass have made long term diet and lifestyle changes. My point being, change is hard, even when your life depends on it, even when you know it’s needed. Don’t make it harder by underestimating how much of your strategies success relies on cultural alignment.

This blog has been centred around my experiences and insights from The Human Science of Strategy : What works and what doesn’t by Dr Bob Murray and Dr Alicia Fortinberry. Executives and Leaders of change- Check this book out, it is gold!  

Best of luck to you as you endeavour to unlock your life’s purpose and your businesses goals. Check in with yourself and hold yourself accountable regularly. The future you deserve is there for the taking. If you wish any extra support or guidance on this journey, please get in contact with me at [email protected].

 

Love Life, Love YOUR Life

 

Ferne Eliz King

Gaining Trust, what % are you in?

 

Only 30-40% of employees trust their upper management, it’s often a result of prejudice from previous bad experiences but at times it can be directly related to the management style within your organisation. The good news is regardless if the trust was lost or never existed, it can be built up. Turning it around require time and effort but it should be a priority because without trust there is no commitment causing you strategic initiatives to fail.

Concentrating on the 5 C’s of trust is a great starting point to establish and repair relationships with your employees. Trust is built on relationships. Also try this with your family, friends, colleagues, community or any person you engage with!  Build it into your values!!

• 1. Commonality – Find something you have in common with individuals. It will be a great conversation point and showing an interest in them will strengthen your relationships with them.
  2. Consistency – Be predictable and grounded. Follow through with your commitments.
  3. Competence – Be exceptional in your role. Be knowledgeable, have expertise and make good judgement calls.
  4. Care for other persons – Be empathetic and flexible, put yourself out for other people.
  5. Communication – Have regular and honest communication in person. Remember to listen and understand, communication is not just about speaking.

In addition to this don’t forget to praise your employee, your family member, your neighbour, people in your community or circle of reference.  Notice and recognise their achievements and success. Humans want to feel important, and they desire positive attention because it makes them feel safe and secure.

If you enable your employees (and all people you interact with) to feel safe, supported, valued, and accepted you will be making great progressing in gaining their trust.

This blog has been created from my experience and findings from reading The Human Science of Strategy: What works and what doesn’t by Dr Bob Murray and Dr Alicia Fortinberry. Executives and Leaders of change- Check this book out, it is gold!  

Best of luck to you as you endeavour to unlock your life’s purpose and businesses goals. Check in with yourself and hold yourself accountable regularly. The future you deserve is there for the taking. If you wish for extra support or guidance on this journey, please get in contact with me at [email protected].

 

Love Life, Love YOUR Life

 

Ferne Eliz King

Be Clear in Your Purpose

When you are clear on your life purpose, you will be dedicated to fulfilling it. Commitment leads to determination which leads to long term success.

If you’re desire and passion for the goal is larger than the fear of the obstacle(s) you will succeed.   If your fear is greater than the desire and passion of the goal you will put up roadblocks and excuses.  How many times have you heard someone say “What are you afraid of” when they keep throwing up excuses of why they have not done something they said they would.

We all have different values, but yours should align to your life purpose. For this reason, everyone’s life purpose takes a different focus. Some form their life purpose around religion or spirituality, others on career or education, family or relationships, community or environment or something entirely different. Essentially, your life purpose is the statement you live your life by and deliver to the world.

Align your goals to your life purpose and you will be more likely to experience success.

Those with a strong life purpose generally experience more satisfaction in life. Though, most people I encounter do not have one and find the concept overwhelming to begin with. So I have developed a series of questions designed to get your mind thinking about a purpose that suits you.

first…

Why Should I Have A Purpose In Life?
Anyone that wants to live a more meaningful life should have a life purpose.

Motivation

You will experience an increased drive and motivation when living a life aligned to your purpose. Your days will feel shorter, you will come home with more energy, and you will ENJOY working towards the goals that lead to your purpose each day.

Helps you prioritise.

You cannot have everything instantly, everything we want we must work towards. Your purpose will help you realise what is and isn’t important, giving you clarity on what actions you should be taking to work towards that purpose.

The foundation to a successful and satisfying life.

A life purpose will facilitate you to grow. Those with a life purpose will experience more satisfaction.

You will be focused, and motivated. You will not feel as though you are treading water as you will always know what you are working towards, even a small step in the right direction each week is progress.

Your purpose is your essence for life. A strong purpose is the foundation to your goals, actions, and thoughts. Those without purpose tend to encounter more disorganisation, less direction and are less likely to achieve their goals.

Live a meaningful life.

A life purpose sets you up for life fulfillment. You will spend less time on things you don’t enjoy or aren’t important and you will surround yourself with optimistic people whose values align with your own.

Being clear in what you want and knowing the actionable steps to take to get you there, will begin to establish a life of happiness. When you hit those inevitable obstacles, you will find you are clearer in the strategies and steps you take to manage them.

Developing My Purpose

Your purpose does not necessarily need to be related to work or income. It can involve what you would love to do, but it could also relate to what you would love to be or have. There are a range of areas you could focus on and you will thrive provided this purpose aligns to your values and is something you have passion for.

Attaining clarity in your purpose can be a complex exercise and is not necessarily achieved in one session. Write down your raw and honest answers to the questions below to begin to form a vision for your purpose.

Getting to know yourself

• List your top 3 values
• List your top 3 strengths
• List a trait that you would like to improve
• List 3 ways you could improve this trait
• List your top 3 skills
• List 3 things you love about yourself
• List your top 3 stresses in your life
• List three ways you could make your life easier
• List 3 things you believe the world needs

Recognise your starting point

• How do you feel when you think about…
  • Your career
  • You skills, education, or training
  • Your family and other relationships
  • The planet (environmentally)
  • The world (socially/politically)
  • Your religion or beliefs
• Which of the above gave you the strongest positive feelings?
• Which of the above gave you the most negative feelings?
• List 3 changes you could make to begin to shift those negative feelings
• List 3 aspects of your life that you are happy with
• List 3 aspects of your life that you would like to improve
• List 3 ways you have grown over the last 10 years
• List 3 things you are grateful for over the last 10 years

Reflect on these two sections. This is your starting point. Combine all this information and you will get an honest understating of you are feeling about yourself and your life at this point.  Drink a large glass of quality water!   Congratulate yourself on answering the questions.

What’s your vision?

• List the top 3 most important things in your life
• List 3 things you could achieve in the future that would make you consider yourself successful
• When you achieve this ‘success’, how will you feel?
• List 3 tasks that you currently spend too much time on
• List ways to reduce time spent on these tasks, to allow more time to work towards your future
• Who would be the first and second person you tell of your success? What words would you use?

Innovate and plan

• List 3 short- term goals that can be achieved over the next 6-12 months that will get you closer to the successful future you have envisioned
• List 3 long-term goals to work towards over the next 3-5 years
• How do you feel when you think about these goals? (tip: If you do not feel optimistic, driven or excited it is unlikely these goals align to your purpose or values)
• How do you plan to achieve each of these goals?
• What further resources or knowledge do you need to reach your goals?
• How will you hold yourself accountable?
• How will you balance working towards these goals with everything else in your life?

Use these answers as inspiration to develop a statement that illustrates your purpose. I have composed some examples of what a statement of purpose could look like for guidance.

“I want the contributions I have made to my career to be remembered and valued. I want to work hard now and retire comfortably later. I want to be successful in my career so I can be relaxed in my retirement.”

“I want to raise my family in a loving environment and support my children grow to be independent, kind and considerate, by being these things myself. I want them to feel empowered to stand up for their beliefs and pursue their passions.”

“When I leave this world, I want it to be a better place than when I arrived. I want to devote time and love to support people who are less fortunate than myself, and to help them build a life they dream of. I want to live on in the memories of the people I encounter.”

Best of luck to you as you endeavour to unlock your life’s purpose. Check in with yourself and hold yourself accountable regularly. The future you deserve is there for the taking. If you need any extra support or guidance on this journey please get in contact with me at [email protected].

 

Love Life, Love YOUR Life

Ferne Eliz King

Having the tough conversations

 

Truth: Difficult conversations never get easier.

Those in management positions will confirm that no matter how much experience they have, they never get used to the apprehension felt when confronted with another tough conversation.

Regardless of if the conversation is in your personal or professional life, the reason they cause so much stress is because you will never know how the other party might react. When emotions are involved people don’t convey their messages effectively and when not managed correctly, you can end up further away from an outcome than when you began.

There are some guidelines to manage a conversation to increase your chances at producing a workable outcome.

PREPARE. Remember a conversation is a two-way street. So, while it is important to plan your end of the conversation, you must also anticipate how the other party may react, and the questions they may ask so you can prepare your response to a range of scenarios. If necessary, research relevant facts. The more prepared you are, the more composed you will remain throughout the discussion. Keep your goal in mind and imagine the best possible outcome and work backwards from there.  Critically, be authentically you, be consistent. 

ALLOW YOURSELF TIME. When the conversation is centered around emotions, it is important to give yourself time to ‘feel your feelings.’ If you enter the conversation in the height of your emotions it will be difficult to stick to your plan, and you may become unproductive in your responses. Time heals, so allow yourself as much as you need before you begin. I personally rehearse my conversation out loud multiple times to myself before I begin any emotional conversation.

BEGIN THE CONVERSATION. I find it best to jump in feet first. Spending time exchanging pleasantries can increase the anxiety and tension for both parties. State what needs to be said and follow it up with an ideal outcome. For example:

 “I have bought you in here today as I have noticed your targets have not been met for the last three months, I want to develop a plan with you so we can work this out.”

Allow time for a response. Question them on how they are feeling and really listen to their response. Be mindful, there will be times when the individual may not agree with your statement and it is important to give them a chance to be heard.

CAREFULLY CHOOSE YOUR LANGUAGE. When the conversation is not going to be pleasant, remember everything you say is at risk of being misconstrued. It is common for people to deflect fault from themselves onto you. This is why preparation is so important. It will enable you to convey a very clear and honest message and keep a level head when responding to the individual, so they feel supported instead of criticized.

DETAILS. When it is a question of performance or behaviour. Always have examples to accompany your feedback. It is common for people to not want to admit fault, so the more clarity you can offer, the quicker the critique will be accepted.  If you have developed a long laundry list of issues, STOP, choose not more than two items, three maximum. 

EMPATHISE. Find three ways to acknowledge the feelings of the other party prior to beginning the conversation. Remember while you have given yourself time to process your emotions, the individual you are speaking to has not had the same opportunity. Be patient while they process what has been said, allow silence, and always follow up over the coming days to give them the chance to speak about any new thoughts that have occurred once they have had the chance to reflect.  Put yourself in their shoes. Be authentic. 

LISTEN. Don’t spend the time thinking about what you will say next when the other person is speaking, and don’t speak over the top of them. Really listen, be present and try to understand their perspective, you may find you agree, even if you dont agree give them the respect of listening. If they feel valued and respected, they will feel more comfortable to be honest and willing to work on a solution with you. Be authentic. 

AUTONOMY. The power of choice is an effective tool to give the individual a voice in the conversation. Give options wherever possible, this will allow both yourself and the other individual to have some control on the direction to take.

TAKE A BREAK. Not every conversation will have a workable conclusion, and emotional conversations can get heated. If you feel like the conversation is not headed in the direction of an outcome, take some time, hours or even days for both parties to relax and reflect and revisit at a later time. But if you do take a break, dont leave the room without committing to a time, date of a follow up.

CLOSE THE CONVERSATION. Take some time to summarise the discussion to ensure both parties are in agreement. Be sure to repeat the concerns or feelings of the other person in this conclusion so they know they have been understood. Demonstrate gratitude to the person for contributing to the discussion and conclude with an encouraging or positive comment.

No one looks forward to these discussions but ignoring the issue or procrastinating will not get you results. Applaud yourself for taking action. You are one step closer to success and happiness. Be authentic. 

Love Life Love YOUR Life

Ferne Eliz King